***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
