Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
