i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
