Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize