Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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