I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
