i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
