It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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