They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
