It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
