You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize