im having a threesome with these popsicles
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
