Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
