I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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