Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
