yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The Olympian is in my bed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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