i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize