he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
