I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
