Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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