why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Two words: nipple clamps
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