p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
