problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just pee around me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
