yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
