does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
