is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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