Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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