Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think my moral compass just broke
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
