So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
