when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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