me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
