Your face is a jimmy john
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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