I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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