She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
