i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
