If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize