He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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