Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize