Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
