pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Bring me that man meat
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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