a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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