I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
