I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
