My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize