Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
