I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
from now on my penis is your penis
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
