I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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