Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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