Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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