Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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