Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
