So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
