You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
