All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
