Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
