I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
