No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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