im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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