He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
