Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Come on in and take your pants off
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