States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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