the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Congratulations! We have a period
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