Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
