I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
