Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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