I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Oh god it's open bar.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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