under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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