Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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