dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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