Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
cat food counts as protein by the way
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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