i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
