I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think I just shit out all my problems.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think i got beer on your cat.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
