Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
