I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
