Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
