But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
