never play flip cup with pint glasses
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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