Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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